The Grocers, the Street Vendors, and the SuperHypermarkets

One of the main ingredients for survival is food.  So wherever you are, it’s pretty important to know where and how to get it.  There are many options here in China, but when you can not effectively use the language that narrows the choices a bit.

 In the states I shopped at my local co-op.  I would pay $6 for a pint of organic blueberries and $8-9 for a pound of bison or grass-fed beef. I bought free-range chicken and cage-free eggs and only organic fruits and vegetables.  I don’t have kids or a family to support so I could afford it… well actually I couldn’t afford it, but it was a priority for me, not only for optimal health, but to ‘do my part’ to reduce the amount of damage being done to the planet via destructive chemicals used in mainstream farming... ( I have trouble calling it conventional farming because in my mind “conventional” means “traditional” or “old-school” and I just don’t see the early farmers using Round Up. When I was in Peru, the local markets were full of beautiful produce and there was no such thing as labeling something “organic” because it was ALL organic.  Something that continues to baffle me about a country claiming to be developed (I’m speaking about the U.S. here) is that it seems that an average family of four, earning a middle-class income, struggles to pay for “conventionally grown” food, so that the idea of shopping for organic products is out of the question.  The stuff that is better for you and for the earth is out of reach.  Sick.  Anywho... all of this is to say that I’m a conscientious shopper and was (and continue to be) concerned about the source of the food that I’m buying and consuming.

As I mentioned, there are several places and ways to shop for food.  One is to walk down your neighborhood streets:  Here you will find shops/garages/spaces/and street vendors where farmers and / or middle men sell everything from veggies and fruits

to nuts and beans

to shrimp in tubs and fish in bags.

As this is the most questionable type of grocery shopping, I tend to steer clear. Also because there are no price tags on this food, so some command of the language is necessary.  The exception to this for me is the fruit vendors.  The best strawberries I’ve had here have been on the street.  I was initially sucked in because it seemed that 13RMB worth of strawberries could make or break some of these peoples’ days...

So another option is to shop at the local grocer and / or the big supermarkets.  The upside to this is that the potential for not only a wee bit of written English on the packaging but also at the bigger places there is usually an organic section.  Or at least there is a section labeled organic.  How do I know that it’s really organic?  I don’t.  The downside to the organic labeled food is that they package it excessively for some reason, which just seems to defeat a big part of the purpose, right?  

So I can buy over-packaged, organic-labeled produce...

or unpackaged questionably grown produce. 

Actually, it’s ALL questionable so I end up doing an extreme washing on it all anyway and putting all of the packaging in the recycling bin with hopes that it really is organic and the packaging really does get reincarnated.

Some of the fun and/or different stuff at the supermarket a.k.a. "Hypermarket."

Dumplings! Dumplings! and more Dumplings!

BIG BLOCKS OF TOFU! and the bags of soybeans that make it... 

Lots of tubes of processed meat 

RRRRRRRIIIICE!!

An assortment of bulk frozen... things.

The Great Wall of Oils

Dried steering-wheel-shaped hunks of seaweed

Or fresh seaweed and fishies on ice

Bags of Octopus...er... Squid...er... Jellyfish?

You CAN buy eggs in cartons... but why? when you can just pick your own and put them (very carefully) in a bag?

Peanut Butter of the Chinese persuasion.

Milk is not sold in cartons or jugs as it is in the states and it is not fresh.  It is packaged and sold in tetra paks and could be 6months old by the time you buy it... but reportedly still safely consumable.

Also sold in chocolate and ... other flavors

Glutinous rice balls anybody??

How about some Hot-Tingle Flavor noodles??

If you don't like those, you could always try some from the Hot and Sour Family

After that you can enjoy a nice cup of any of the 65,000 varieties of hua cha or flower tea

Another shopping option is the international grocer.  The price for this is quite dear though.  It’s MUCH, MUCH more expensive to buy imported products.  For me, the closest international grocer is about an hour by subway, which means hauling the food to and fro.  Not a fun trip when I get really excited about cartons of Silk, jars of salsa and cans of baked beans. HEAVY!  Expensive and heavy!  BUT for the days when I really need a taste of home, I keep a few things in stock.

Like good ol' Land O' Lakes cheese imported from MN!

or some of THE best coffee in the world:

Sooooo, other than the checkout clerk saying ni hao and telling me how much the total is (which 90% of the time I still can’t understand and have to look at the register) there need be very little spoken Chinese involved in the grocery shopping experience.  But I’m realizing that I’m limiting my shopping encounters because asking for something is out of the question at this point and so I am curbing the choices to what I can decipher on my own. 

There HAVE been language barrier incidents while grocery shopping... like the day I was buying some yogurt, just as I had done at least 3 or 4 times by this point, and the checkout lady asked, “blabbity blabby blabb blabby blabma??”  and even though I had learned how to say the phrase, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand, “I don’t speak Chinese” IN CHINESE and had practiced and practiced and practiced this phrase and tested it out on a Chinese co-worker and received glowing reviews on my pronunciation... when it came time to USE it in a practical situation all I could do was shake my head and say, “uh... um... I don’t... know.”  She ended up keeping the yogurt and I’m still not sure why.  This happened in my first month here and I am happy to say that things have progressed since then.  I HAVE used that phrase and others such as, “Please speak more slowly” (not that it will make a difference) and “I only know a few words in Chinese” several times successfully, but the look I get from them after saying these phrases is the facial equivalent to,”Then, why are you here??”  So, I do still fear the potential questions from the checkout clerk every time I shop...not to mention the possibility of having my yogurt held hostage. 

Wǒ gǎnmào le / 我感冒/ I have a cold.

我感冒 or wǒ gǎnmào le or I have a cold.   It's been about 2-1/2 weeks and I'm sick of being sick.   What started as a little rattle in the lungs developed into a bronchial fire every time I coughed.  The virus diversified and branched out into my sinuses and the simultaneous lung inferno and sinus pressure has been quite a miserable experience.  I am a natural/home remedy/Chinese-herb-lovin' kind of gal... and so I started with the herbs right away. (Attempting to explain my symptoms to the woman at the pharmacy was something straight out of a Seinfeld episode)
There are several ways to ingest the herbs.  One is a crystallized-powder type that is mixed with hot water... they all generally taste like some kind of sweetened tree bark... but nothing gag-worthy.

Another form is a compact ball of compressed herbs that, once removed from the wax/plastic casing, is popped in the mouth, chewed and swallowed.

Not terrible tasting... but not candy... after all, it is medicine.

I found a nice syrup that DOES taste like candy and is actually quite effective for calming the cough and soothe some symptoms.  A nice mix of herbs and honey.

I discovered that when trying to swig a quick dose in between classes it's a good idea to announce that I'm going to take some medicine... otherwise I get some funny looks while tipping the bottle behind my locker. 

Also found an effective cough drop/throat lozenge:

In addition to the herbs, I was eating a lot of raw ginger, drinking apple cider vinegar, and taking a few thousand mg of vitamin C to support the immune system and since I couldn't smell anything and I don't have a roommate, eating raw garlic to kill any bacteria / infection in the sinuses.

Usually this combination of boosters will wipe out whatever ails me, but I believe part of the reason for the longevity of this sickness has been that I haven't been able to get proper rest.  I can't call in sick to work because we don't have enough teachers to cover my classes... no substitutes here.  Unless I'm on my death bed, I pretty much need to go to work (which is not great considering I'm spreading my sick to a school full of kids).  Another contributing factor is the air. As I've mentioned before, it seems to have a layer of ick in it.  I feel that my body is already working overtime to filter... and now it's trying to fight a virus on top of it.  I'm almost out of the woods, but it's lingering.

In the states, I would not easily drink Ny-Quil or pop a Mucinex pill.  I don't believe in treating  symptoms as it does not generally help the body fight the sickness, and it often seems to make it worse in the long run as a person tends to do more than they should since the drug helps them 'feel better'.  It's been years since I've had any of that kind of medication.  HOWEVER, in order to sleep and / or function during the day, I would have downed a half a bottle of any of it ...had I had it.  Currently, I have a care-package on the way from Dr. Mom in the event that I am struck again.

I have had a couple of offers to take me to the hospital (which is used like a clinic back home).  They are big on intravenous drips here... really big, and as exciting as a trip to the drip forest sounds I would rather my body fight this and build an impervious immunity wall, than be given antibiotics for a virus, xie xie very much.

Another thing I kick myself for not bringing is my Neti Pot.

I know they freak people out... but honestly, I can't think of a better daily maintenance here in the dirty air.  Another care package is on it's way with a new Neti Pot from Auntie Annie.  Let the nasal passage cleansing commence!

Oh, yeah, by the way... I must share that I did spit in public.  Copious amounts of mucus being produced and not having a tissue handy made it... necessary.  I'm not proud, but I do feel a little more like one of the gang now. 

I think I promised to write about more refined things after my last post on the 'bathroom'... sorry, maybe next time.

The Apartment

Way back when, in college, I went directly from the dorms to off-campus housing my freshman year and so I never had the pleasure of occupying the luxurious on-campus apartments.  I did visit them on occasion though and was reminded of those hard wood arms on the IKEA-type, standard-functional furniture when I moved into my new apartment in China.

 The couch is actually orange but it is stained just enough to remove the welcoming "come sit on me" personality that I think a couch should have....so I found this lovely blue and white flowered sheet in one of the drawers in the extra bedroom and it is surprising how (despite the atrocious pairing of this sheet with the striped pillows) such a thin shield can provide so much more comfort.  This 'furnished' apartment does just that... it furnishes the necessities of a moderately comfortable living.

The living room is complete with a couch, two chairs, a desk, a coffee table, tv, and............. refrigerator!  The kitchen is too small for the fridge... so, the living room it is.

The desk has become my library and stereo.  The electrical outlets are limited, hence the powerstrip/cord stretching in the middle of the room.  BTW it's very important (in order to avoid small fires) to choose the highest wattage/voltage when buying a power strip.  :) Anybody know how to say FIRE in Chinese? Me neither.

This is the entryway/open pantry/microwave room.  I haven't used a microwave for years.   Sadly, I have used the one provided on several occasions so far.  I'm a microwave whore!   With the ridiculous levels of air and water pollution and questionable food sources, a little electromagnetic radiation seems the least of my worries.  Anywhooooo... through the door is the kitchen and through the next door, the balcony/laundry room.

The sink and gas stove-top are fairly normal except that the lowest setting is about a medium heat... no simmer, which is a bummer, and one MUST WATCH CAREFULLY.  No oven... which means no banana bread... and no other things I'll miss making when I eventually get sick of eating dumplings.  I LOVE DUMPLINGS SO MUCH!  (I WILL get sick of eating dumplings, right??) 

The contraption above the sink is the gas heater... it provides heat for the radiators and the water (including the shower)... and I have developed a complicated relationship with this machine. (we are finally speaking after about 2 weeks of the silent treatment)

My washing machine (out on the balcony) can hold about 3pairs of socks, 2 underwear, and 1 towel in a load... but I'm very happy to have it. Many people here wash their clothes by hand... washboard style.  I know that this machine has a hot setting and a cold setting and I know where the start button is ...but that's about it.  It's worked so far!

This is my dryer.

 And this is my other dryer. 

Please, if you have a dryer.  Don't take it for granted.  As much as you hate doing laundry... remember how nice it is to take your load of clothes out of the washer and throw it into the dryer... and BOOM! in 1 hour ... dry clothes/sheets, etc.  Here, I remove items from the washer, and either carefully hang them from the radiator to dry within about 12 hours or hang them from clips on hangers that are strung  from a variety of doorknobs and millwork throughout the apartment.  The balcony has a drying rod... but in the winter... there's not a whole of drying going on there... just frozen underwear and honestly with the look (and smell) of the air... I don't want them out there.

My first bedroom upon arrival which is now the spare bedroom.  With TWO mattresses, one might think... ahhhh, comfy bed!  No.  Actually?  Rocks.  It was like sleeping on rocks piled on top of cement slabs. Luckily I moved into the other room after about a week.

The bathroom...  so much to say about the bathroom.  Let me preemptively say that I am grateful, incredibly grateful, for water.  Any water.  Hot, cold, filtered, unfiltered (preferably non toxic and/or polluted) but in general just showing gratitude for the water.  Aho.
I hate to follow that with a great big BUT... BUUUUUTTTTT there were some things to adjust to here with the toileting and the showering.  It's not the water's fault.   And please, if you don't care to read about the finer points of human waste, then PLEASE STOP READING!!!! I'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME WHEN I'M SURE TO BE WRITING ABOUT SOMETHING MORE REFINED. (maybe?)


Ok, so for those of you that like to read about poo... ... ... ... ;o)  First, the toilet.  NO PAPER IN THE TOILET!  If you MUST, then 4-6 squares MAX! But that doesn't go for every toilet, everywhere. At my apartment the plumbing can handle 4-6 squares. But, for instance... at work, if 2 squares of paper are flushed, it will cause a backup and believe me you don't want to be responsible for that.  One of my 'favorite' memories from my 3rd day here is from one of the administrators at the school yelling, "new teacher?! No paper in the toilet!!!"  So unless you want to deal with or be responsible for a clogged toilet, you will put your toilet paper in the garbage can.  That's right.  #1 paper... #2 paper... #3 paper (chics you know what paper this is) (dudes... so do you if you've lived here for any amount of time and shared bathrooms) it all goes in... the garbage can.  This was actually not unfamiliar to me.  I spent a few glorious weeks in Peru and it was the same (except that my memory tells me that they had garbage cans with flippy doors on them so you didn't have to SEE the paper.)  The plumbing simply cannot tolerate a lot of or sometimes ANY paper ... which brings me back to one of the many things being taken for granted in the US... fairly decent plumbing ... and never needing to have a "wiping and discarding strategy."  In the US you can flush a good amount of paper down the tubes if necessary...I mean it really has to be excessive in order to cause a back up.  Being an environmentally conscious individual... it bothers me to be excessive with water AND paper... and in the bathroom scenarios HERE... I am forced to either leave my paper exposed in the bin, do my best to wrap it with MORE paper before tossing in the garbage, OR flush a little paper TWICE... but that wastes water!  AAAAGGGGHHH!!!

All of this also means that when you walk into a public restroom you learn to NOT look at the garbage can!!  Much like when using a "Biffy," you KNOW to NOT LOOK in the hole!  At this point I've gotten used to it, but it was disturbing upon arrival.

Ok, so you see the shower in the corner there?  (once again, big picture, grateful for water of any kind, yes, and being able to take a shower at all, yes!) BUT coming from America where we have separate shower units... there is no shower 'stall' or even a lip on the ground to capture the water... only the shower curtain that leaves about a 3 inch gap to the ground.  As you can imagine... the bathroom is a wet mess after every shower and so the mop leaning in the right corner is used to clean up after ever shower.  Fun, huh?  One of my favorite times of the day is naked mopping time. :-D  The bathroom floor is probably the cleanest in the house so I suppose it's not all bad.  I really don't give this a second thought anymore though... because I finally have hot water again!!! YAHOOO!!! 

Backstory... 

I had lived in this apartment for about 3 weeks, taking nice, hot showers daily, when suddenly there was no hot water... and there was also no heat.  Now, one would think that as a landlord or property manager that when a new tenant (especially a foreigner) moves into your space it would be ideal (really for everyone) to cover the finer points of the functional elements of the place.  Right?  Even though I'd seen the latest Karate Kid movie I still didn't know how, where, or when to refill my gas card.  Well, it was out of credits don'tchya know?  Consequently, no gas... and no hot water.  I inquired and was shown where and how to refill the card.  So, now I had gas... but still no heat and intermittent hot water.  Remember the contraption in the kitchen?  Apparently it had reset itself.  Normally, I'm adept and mechanically inclined enough to figure out how a machine like this works, but the additional language barrier prevented that from happening for awhile.  I will spare you the rest of the boring details and share the short story of how I had the landlord and lady over twice to help me understand how to set the machine... but instead when they would show up it would work just fine and so they would assume the American was either crazy or stupid and maybe have a good laugh but would never actually show me how to SET THE DAMN THING PROPERLY!  Eventually through a series of trials and errors and cold showers by candlelight (oh yeah, the light in the bathroom also has episodic tantrums and doesn't work) and insights from friends of friends like Mark I figured it out.

Since we're in the bathroom... I thought I'd show you the bathroom heater.  It's totally safe with all the electric cords hanging there near the sink, right?  I've only seen sparks from my hairdryer once and that was due to the wrong adapter.  It hasn't worked properly since, though.  :-/

This is my new bedroom with a bigger, much softer and more comfortable bed.

I brought several pairs of earplugs with me and have been using them every night since Chinese New Year (which I'll leave for another post).  Not only did they work wonders through that, but I've also found that I get much better, uninterrupted, dream-inducing sleep when using them. :) Because above my apartment is a family that likes to make noise.  Stomping noise, tapping noise,  toddler-running-across-the-floor-noise, parental-yelling noise, dropping-heavy-objects noise, hammering noise, chair-scraping-across-the-floor-every-5-GD-minutes noise and the newborn baby up there obviously has the same genes and so this all starts at about 5am noise.  Yay for earplugs!

The last thing I will mention about the apartment and the water (for now) is that the water that comes out of the tap... YOU DO NOT DRINK.  I have been advised to not even brush my teeth, cook, or wash my vegetables with it and SO...THIS is the clean-water refilling station in my apartment community. 

You must buy a special card because it does not take coins or bills (which I was originally told and spent several minutes trying to find the coin slot :-/ ).  It's quite inexpensive, but still requires the hauling of water every 3 to 4 days.  There is a delivery service if I really need it. But for now... this is just fine.  It brings me back to simpler times... and reminds me once again to be grateful for the water... after all... it is the source of life.

Many, many thanks for clean water! Aho!

Staring, Spitting, and Slurping

 My immune system was being seriously challenged after the first week…. what with swapping hot pot spit, lack of sleep, and sharing polluted air with about 22 million new people (many of them snotty nosed kids).  I ended up with an illness of sorts a few days after arrival.  I was turned on to some good Chinese herbs that cleared up the body aches, stuffy/runny nose, and fever within a couple of days. But the peak of feeling really crappy was on New Years Eve and so I ended up staying home and watching movies.  This was actually just fine with me as I’ve never been a big fan of going out on that particular night no matter what country I’m in.  I was, however, presented with the ethical dilemmas of intellectual property rights and obscene amounts of packaging all with the seemingly simple act of watching movies.  DVD ‘rental’ is not really an option here as far as I can see.  (I kept my Netflix streaming account but the selection is limited.) BUYING pirated movies is the norm.  Some are sold in the street but even the DVD stores carry mostly pirated material.  And then there’s the packaging… ugh.  See this photo of The King’s Speech?  

 There is the plastic bag the actual DVD goes in, then the plastic bag slides into that smiley-faced cardboard envelope, that envelope is tucked into the shiny paper sleeve which is then stuffed into the bigger cardboard envelope… all of which then slides into the covering plastic case.  It’s unfathomably excessive.  I struggle with both the pirating and the packaging… but until I find an alternative, as this is my main source of entertainment down here, I will stay off of my soap-box to avoid being a hypocrite.

Ok, on to a few irksome idiosyncrasies that have taken some acclimatizing:

The suburb that I live in, Daxing, is about an hour South of Beijing by subway.  It is pretty removed from the international scene that IS Beijing.  This is both good and bad.  On the positive side, I enjoy a much lower cost of living and get to experience a little more of ‘real’ China.  On the negative side, next to no one here speaks English.  In the heart of Beijing, most everyone, if they do not speak English with some fluency, has at least been educated or exposed to it and can understand and/or speak some common phrases.  To be clear, I didn’t come to China expecting people to speak “my” language.  However, when choosing a teaching job in the Beijing area, it can be much easier to get along on your own without the assistance of a translator if you do actually live in the city, and not out in, what many consider to be, the boondocks.

Most of the people that live in this suburb have rarely see a ‘foreigner’ in person and some of them have never in their lifetime seen any other race but their own… and it shows.  This area, not too long ago, was quite rural.  The development and construction over the past decade or so has transformed the place,  but not necessarily the people.  The stares I get from them are consistent and constant.  It took a little getting used to. If they were looking with kind curiosity, it would be fine… but very few of them are.  The people that I pass on the street that do a double take, and then smile at me… those are the minority.  Even though I’m doing my best to be friendly and keep a smile on my face…it’s like they’re literally jarred out of their world when they see me.  The majority will see me, do a double take and then gawk at me as if I was literally from outer space… or like they’ve seen me on t.v. but not in real life… I really can’t put my finger on the facial expression yet… it’s a mixture of looking surprised, dumbfounded, curious, but (oddly) pissed off and/or frightened.  I’m describing the majority, but not ALL.  Some could care less (or at least act like it) and some are actually friendly.  It’s unlike anything I’ve experienced.  At first it was sort of fun… having hundreds of people giving me that much attention can definitely feed the ego!  But it didn’t take long for it to become annoying.  Especially now after having been here for about 6weeks… I sort of feel like, “Oh come on! Get over it!”  But I quickly remind myself that I’m seeing new people every day.  Even though I’m a ways out of the big city, Daxing still has a population of about 672,000. And it may be THIS person’s very first time seeing a white woman in their town… and this may never go away... at least not during my tenure.  I do my best to be polite and smile, but have learned to just go about my business…….. and let them stare.

Those that are actually friendly will often approach me with a “Hello!” It’s the most common (and obvious) thing people know how to say in English, so they will test it out to make sure they’ve got it right.  The women will inevitably tell me I’m “very beautiful” within about 30 seconds of meeting me, which is also a nice ego boost, but I’ve learned that it doesn’t mean beautiful the way most Americans understand beautiful, it actually means something like, “I like your white skin” or “I envy your whiteness.”   I have been reminded of one of the absurd incongruities of the human experience (or maybe just the female human experience) and it goes back to a basic ‘grass is greener’ symptom of dissatisfaction with our physical selves.  In America, the majority of the white population wants to be darker.  Being tan is more attractive.  Many people will PAY MONEY to subject themselves to cancer-causing ultraviolet radiation to make their skin darker.  But in China, the women don’t want the dark skin they have, they want to be light-skinned because they see THAT as being more attractive.  They will AVOID the sun because it will make them darker. And it is hard to find a skin cream or moisturizer here that does not have a “whitening” agent in it.  I haven’t done the research but I would bet they are cancer-causing concoctions as well.  

If the people here aren’t staring at me, then they’re spitting… not AT me… just anywhere.  I am not intending this to be a “rip-on-the-Chinese-people” section, it is just MY perspective of my acculturating experience.  I was warned about the spitting before coming… but that forewarning did nothing to lessen the disgusting and crude nature of it.  I know that it isn’t intended to be offensive, but it is.  Anyone that knows me knows that I’m far from an uppity, hoity-toity, etiquette-stricken, person… but there are some things… that, well… require significant forbearance.  To not make a disgusted face, or look incredulously at a lot of what goes on, is a daily practice.

I understand some of it.  The air is thick with pollution.  The pollution causes a thickening of the mucus linings as a protection mechanism for the immune system and the people are taught that it’s best to GET IT OUT!  I don’t disagree.  It’s the ‘where and how’ that I take issue with.  Their plan??  Anywhere and anyhow.  You know the sound that accompanies a real good loogie-hocking??  That is a recurrent sound when walking anywhere outdoors.  It is normal practice for men AND women, so not only do I have to WATCH where I walk, I have to LISTEN for where to best walk to avoid stepping in a fresh gob or being caught in the expectorate crossfire.  Grossed out yet??  Yeah, me too.  It’s a whole different way of defensive walking, for sure!  I love to use my iPod on my walk to work because not only do I get to hear some podcasts in English but it also blocks out the disgusting sounds.  It’s quite risky though because I feel partially handicapped in my defense against the projectile spewing with my earbuds blocking the aural clues. 

Maybe I should leave the slurping for another time… but it fits in so nicely here.  I’ll keep it short.  Another shared public experience is eating, and one good part of this (if it's indoors) is that there is no (or very little) throat and nasal clearing. HOWEVER, the spitting is replaced by slurping!  MAJOR slurping!  If you order noodles... it is not considered impolite to slurp them... with great force... in fact, once again it's the norm. Whether it's a casual or very formal dining experience... if there are noodles or soup... there will be slurping.  Compared to the spitting though I feel that this is one that I can tolerate.  After awhile it's really quite amusing.  In fact, I even caught myself slurping a little bit the other day while eating a bowl of noodles.  In the privacy of my own home though, of course.  I'm not ready to take my slurping into public.
If I report that I’ve started spitting… someone please send a plane for me, ok?

The Christmas Program!

 The school that I signed on with is a very young company, about a year and a half old.  During the international job hunt this was definitely a point of concern.  Stability and longevity are a couple of comforting qualities when considering ANY position, but especially when there is a plan to uproot and replant ones life. I justified this risk by balancing it out with the attractive side of that same fact: joining a company in its infancy, that has plans for franchising, would allow for greater promotional opportunity within the organization as it expands out into other parts of the city and potentially other countries.  I was assured that there were plenty of investors and the money would be there so “don’t worry about not getting a paycheck.”  I took the risk.  But, as with most green companies (and I don’t mean environmentally sound) there are several systematic and operational issues to sort out.  Policies, procedures, processes and many other ‘p’ words all need some time, and practical experience to mature.  This company is no exception and it was abundantly clear just how unstructured it is as I participated in my first function with them: The Christmas Program!

I had been in China exactly 48 hours at this point.  After taking a few minutes to brush up my ‘Jingle Bells’ and ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ on a little keyboard that one might find in the toy aisle at Target, and a 15-minute rehearsal with the kidlets, I was part of the line-up!  This was only one part of my involvement though.  The management at the school thought it would be a great idea to introduce me (the shiny new teacher from America) to the parents and the rest of the kids (approx 250 in all) by doing a teaching game with some of the kids as a part of the Christmas program! Yes! Great idea! :-/ Now, let me just say that I have yet, in this journal, to get into WHY I’m here, what brought me to the point of living and teaching abroad, and I will do that eventually, but right now I will just share briefly that my teaching experience is limited… especially with the kidlets.  My TEFL training and the volunteer teaching I’ve done has been mostly with adults and University students… so other than a few summers helping kids write songs for theatre camp, this is pretty unfamiliar and therefore not altogether comfortable territory for me.  I DID know this going in… but it was also written in my contract that I would have a 3-month training/observation/probation/warming-up-to-the-whole-thing period to “get comfortable.” Sooooo… you know… 3 months… 48 hours…same diff, right?  Additionally, it was understood that when I DID start teaching on my own, the maximum class size, due to it being a private school, would be 8 students … not 100... plus parents.  Ugh.  I could have said no.  But, hey! I’ve already jumped completely into a foreign and slightly uncomfortable pool, why not do some laps?… in front of the entire school?… naked! Ok, not naked, but it kiiiiiiiinda felt like it.

It is a big undertaking to produce a xmas program for even the more experienced lot. To keep oodles of kids entertained while still maintaining some order and fluidity is not a light task, so I give them all credit for the ambitious goal.  But this… was… A L L   O U T   C H A O S!  Imagine, 100+ little sugared-up Chinese kids wearing Santa hats, excited-to-the-point-of-screaming, tearing around the room, while some of them are attempting to perform their Twelve Days of Christmas sketch and the parents are carrying on an audible conversation with the other adults at their table rather than keeping their kids under control and/or paying attention to what is happening on stage (unless their child is performing, of course) as the owner is trying to give some direction into a microphone, but it’s not coming close to matching the decibel level of the masses.…aaaaannnd you’ve pretty much got the picture.  (Regrettably, I did not take any photos of the evening.)  One of the major factors causing the chaos was that there was not a raised stage… it was all on the same level as the audience, which allowed the kids to run onto the ‘playing field’ as they wished.  And when one kid does it… well, you know.  One other tiny little factor contributing to the mayhem was that the MC for the evening, who was flying in from Hong Kong, was delayed by flight and then by traffic.  She showed up about half way through the program and proceeded to put on a slinky angel costume (complete with wings) the likes and purpose of which still has me baffled.  Something to keep the adult males in the room entertained, I guess?  Regardless, it added to the wackiness of the evening.

It became clear to me very quickly that this situation was nearing the ridiculous category.  My nervousness faded as I realized this and decided to simply turn it into an improv-performance for myself.  I’ve been doing theatre and music in some capacity for the majority of my life… and that’s really all this was, right?  ‘YES AND’ing the hell out of this situation.  Obviously we needed things to shift in order to continue with any semblance of order. When it was my turn to play a game with some of them (which turned out to be flash cards and charades on the topic of ‘jobs’) I contemplated just continuing on amidst the cacophony, without drawing any attention or upsetting the spiraling pandemonium.  That would have been the very safe thing to do.  But since I was already doing laps…I thought I might as well do some back-flips off the high-board!  I yelled (very, very loudly) M E R R Y   C H R I S T M A S!!!!!!  And indicated that the kids should echo it.  They did, quietly at first, (I’m sure a few of them were a bit startled by an American they’ve never seen before, shouting Merry Christmas at them) but I continued relentlessly roaring MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! And then held my hand up to my ear until they were getting into it and were responding louder than the rest of the hubbub in the room… within about a minute the room was hushed and most of the focus was on the stage. 

Happy as I was to have gotten the attention of the entire room (because I honestly didn’t know if it was possible) I simultaneously had an ‘oh shit’ moment because now they were all staring at me and quietly paying attention...which was what I was going for, yes, but it sure looked a lot different than I expected... many of their faces said, “What is that crazy American doing?”  HA! I quickly moved into the game, kept the energy level at ‘super-dynamic’ and the volume at 'very loud', tossed gifts to the participants, made them laugh by acting like a complete goof… and in the end, not only was it a successful 10 minutes, but now they definitely knew who I was. :)

The reward for the night was a nice meal on the company where I was introduced to my new favorite food: LOTUS ROOT!!!!!  It’s awesomely, texturally, crunchily, healthily, deeeelicious!

It was definitely one of the more peculiar Christmas stories in my life, especially going back to the apartment after dinner and realizing that it really was Christmas.  Quite strange, because even though I was shouting Merry Christmas at the top of my lungs a couple hours before, there was nothing recognizably Christmassy or nostalgic about this scene for me…  My family and friends were far away and I was in completely new surroundings... it was all new.  The past decade or so, even my jadedness about the corporate/consumer/commercialism of the holiday season BECAME its own sensation of Christmas…but, here, looking at the cardboard Santa Claus’ hanging in the windows of the dumpling restaurant was just laughably bizarro!

The First Few Days

 The first few days were a bit of a whirlwind as one could imagine.  The same night that I arrived, I was taken to my apartment to quickly drop off my suitcase (I’ll get into the apartment situation later) then to the school for a brief introduction to the owner and some of the people there and then to the WuMart… which is the equivalent of a Target or Wallmart.

As you can see, WuMart is not just a supermarket,  it is a "Hypermarket".  I needed to buy some essentials like bedding, towels, TP, and a few food staples and WuMart has it all.  Coco and her husband were there to help me with the transactions because when you show interest in something like sheets or comforters at the WuMart you are immediately surrounded by anywhere from two to five employees that want to ‘help’ you.  I imagine they are pointing out the differences between the products and highlighting some features and perhaps if I spoke the language it would be helpful.  But since I don’t, it’s just a lot jibberish that distracts me from looking at the options.  Since I had help with me at this point, it went pretty smoothly. 

After the WuMart we were off to meet the other teachers for dinner at a Hot Pot restaurant, which can most easily be described as Chinese fondue… a simmering metal pot of stock sits at the center of the dining table and you all order a variety of vegetables, meats, tofu, and noodles.  Sometimes there is one big pot and at others the pot is split into a spicy side and a regular side.

I haven’t done a lot of fondue eating so am not sure if one uses the same utensils that they eat with to dunk their food into the community pot, but the practice of using your chopsticks to pick up some food then drop it in the hot pot along with everyone else and fish it out after a couple of minutes, put it in your mouth and then use those same chopsticks to do it all over again... grossed me out a bit.  I wondered if I would feel the same if it were a bunch of friends or even just people I knew.  I think it would be better, but it's still not very appealing to me.  It seems to be pretty popular though, so perhaps I'll warm up to it.  I've also heard that there are individual hot pot restaurants where you get your very own!  That I would dig.

At the recommendation of one of the other teachers and in the spirit of keeping an open mind and wanting to try some ‘new things’ I tried blood tofu that night.  I've learned many things already and I'm sure I'll learn many more.  The big thing I learned that night was that I’m not into eating animal blood… even when it’s soaked into tofu.  Nope, definitely not.  Bleh.

 I was very tired by this point and ready to hit the bed.  Tired as I was though, I woke up about every hour during the (now) night.  Beijing is fourteen hours ahead of Minneapolis, so pretty much the opposite side of the day.   

I met the school manager (we'll call him Mike) the next morning so he could show me around my neighborhood a bit.  

We went to the local grocery store and he pointed out some things that might be common but not easily recognizable due to very different packaging (and obviously the foreign characters).  I'll get some photos up another time of these things.  We walked down the row of shops and restaurants and at this time of day there are several restaurants that do some of their cooking outside... to lure you in.  Some with dumplings, some with fresh roasted chestnuts.  It worked.  We stopped in one to have breakfast at a place that Mike commented, "had never made him sick."  The meal consisted of steamed buns filled with some kind of savory meat (baozi)... an egg (jidan) that was hard boiled in tea, and tofu soup (not pictured).

Quite a hearty breakfast for about 6rmb (less than one US dollar).  I still had a significant amount of anxiety filling my stomach at this point so I didn't eat half of that, but now knew of one place that was close where I could go for an inexpensive meal.
After breakfast, we got in a taxi to meet a Chinese friend of Mike's to assist me in buying a cell phone.  Taxis here are of two kinds... legit and 'black'. The legit taxis LOOK like taxis and run a meter.  The black taxis have no meters, they just give people rides for money.  And if their howling and calling out to you isn't enough of an indication...they also have little red lights in their windshield to let you know.  The black taxis are generally less expensive but if you're a foreigner they will definitely try to charge you more.  The price for the trip is agreed upon before you even get in the taxi.  You tell them where you want to go and they tell you what they want for the ride... you either agree and get in, try to haggle with them, or leave.  So, we met Mike's friend and he helped me get a phone number and SIMS card (I was told I could use an old phone of his but wouldn't be able to get it until tomorrow) and then we walked around one of the shopping malls in Daxing.  The "Fresh City" shopping mall.

It's a mall not TOO unlike something you'd see in the states, except that the folks tending the shops are a little more "forward" with their sales approach.  KFC and McDonalds are quite popular but there are also several Chinese fast-food joints.  (None of which I could go to on my own even if I wanted to because they don't have pictures!)  But we were with Mike's friend Martin and his girlfriend Lily now... so we could go to a dumpling place where they could order for us.  Apparently the eating of dumplings was required that day since it was the coldest day of the year... legend has it that if you DON'T eat dumplings on the coldest day... your ears will fall off.  China is a quite a superstitious country by the way.

After dumplings, we went into a different marketplace area that reminded me of a good old-fashioned Minnesota flea market!  Pretty much anything you could want or need and a lot of things you don't.  BUT there are no price tags so in order to shop in places like these you need to have a pretty good command of the language in order to haggle and not be ripped off.  Unfortunately, I will be shopping at places like WuMart for awhile.  That's just fine actually, even though it's not very exotic, I'm really grateful for WuMart at this point.

I was ready to lie down by now... as the jet lag and lack of sleep was catching up with me.  We walked back to my apartment community at which point I realized I wasn't sure which of the 30 some buildings was mine.  I thought I knew and sent Mike on his way.  I had asked my roommate before leaving which was our building, but I didn't write it down (big mistake) and was sort of half paying attention in the exhaustion and disorientation to the many things that were being thrown my way...I  knew the general direction and the apartment number which is four flights up, but not which building. (and of course they all look the same!)

 I believe I mentioned that it was the coldest day of the year here and I started to panic just a little bit.  I walked in the direction I thought it was and started running in buildings and up to the fourth floor... with no luck.  Though I didn't have my phone yet, I still had my US phone, however, I still wasn't sure if it worked here because when I had tried to call Coco during the whole lost luggage ordeal I couldn't get a hold of her.  It was worth a try... and it worked... whew!  She had the building number, entrance number and apartment number.  It still took me another 10-15 minutes in the cold to find the building, but I found it!  

I ran up the stairs, recognized the door, went to put the key in... and it didn't work.  Keys are a little bit different here and this door had a trick to it that we discovered the night before.  You have to push in on the door while turning the key which I was doing and doing and doing and doing!  The problem was that the key was NOT budging.  There were two keys on the ring... one for the main lock and one for the secondary lock, which was not locked.  I tried both keys... couldn't get either of them to work.  I tried for at least a half hour (felt like two)... I really, really just wanted to lie down and be warm and did I mention that I really had to pee by this point?!  I had a mini-meltdown in the stairwell. "What the hell am I doing here?  What was I thinking??  Why did I leave everything that was comfortable and familiar so that I could be lost and confused and still friggin cold?!" I had fantasies about jumping on the next flight to Minnesota... and then took a deep breath and humbled myself enough to call Coco again.  She and the owner of the school showed up in about 20min to help me.  I showed her what I was doing with the key so I could figure out what I was doing wrong.  She took the OTHER key (the one that I tried before) and put it in, pushed in on the door and voila! "Wrong key." she said.  I didn't even care that I probably looked like a dope.  I just really wanted some sleep... and I got about two hours, cuz then it was time to go to the school to practice Jingle Bells with the kidlets for the big Xmas program!  I was asked/told the night before at the hotpot, that the school had borrowed a keyboard so that I could play Jingle Bells with them for their big program... isn't that lovely?

Mind if I have a few minutes with that keyboard before the practice so I can "refresh" myself?  Suuuuper, thanks.