The Christmas Program!

 The school that I signed on with is a very young company, about a year and a half old.  During the international job hunt this was definitely a point of concern.  Stability and longevity are a couple of comforting qualities when considering ANY position, but especially when there is a plan to uproot and replant ones life. I justified this risk by balancing it out with the attractive side of that same fact: joining a company in its infancy, that has plans for franchising, would allow for greater promotional opportunity within the organization as it expands out into other parts of the city and potentially other countries.  I was assured that there were plenty of investors and the money would be there so “don’t worry about not getting a paycheck.”  I took the risk.  But, as with most green companies (and I don’t mean environmentally sound) there are several systematic and operational issues to sort out.  Policies, procedures, processes and many other ‘p’ words all need some time, and practical experience to mature.  This company is no exception and it was abundantly clear just how unstructured it is as I participated in my first function with them: The Christmas Program!

I had been in China exactly 48 hours at this point.  After taking a few minutes to brush up my ‘Jingle Bells’ and ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ on a little keyboard that one might find in the toy aisle at Target, and a 15-minute rehearsal with the kidlets, I was part of the line-up!  This was only one part of my involvement though.  The management at the school thought it would be a great idea to introduce me (the shiny new teacher from America) to the parents and the rest of the kids (approx 250 in all) by doing a teaching game with some of the kids as a part of the Christmas program! Yes! Great idea! :-/ Now, let me just say that I have yet, in this journal, to get into WHY I’m here, what brought me to the point of living and teaching abroad, and I will do that eventually, but right now I will just share briefly that my teaching experience is limited… especially with the kidlets.  My TEFL training and the volunteer teaching I’ve done has been mostly with adults and University students… so other than a few summers helping kids write songs for theatre camp, this is pretty unfamiliar and therefore not altogether comfortable territory for me.  I DID know this going in… but it was also written in my contract that I would have a 3-month training/observation/probation/warming-up-to-the-whole-thing period to “get comfortable.” Sooooo… you know… 3 months… 48 hours…same diff, right?  Additionally, it was understood that when I DID start teaching on my own, the maximum class size, due to it being a private school, would be 8 students … not 100... plus parents.  Ugh.  I could have said no.  But, hey! I’ve already jumped completely into a foreign and slightly uncomfortable pool, why not do some laps?… in front of the entire school?… naked! Ok, not naked, but it kiiiiiiiinda felt like it.

It is a big undertaking to produce a xmas program for even the more experienced lot. To keep oodles of kids entertained while still maintaining some order and fluidity is not a light task, so I give them all credit for the ambitious goal.  But this… was… A L L   O U T   C H A O S!  Imagine, 100+ little sugared-up Chinese kids wearing Santa hats, excited-to-the-point-of-screaming, tearing around the room, while some of them are attempting to perform their Twelve Days of Christmas sketch and the parents are carrying on an audible conversation with the other adults at their table rather than keeping their kids under control and/or paying attention to what is happening on stage (unless their child is performing, of course) as the owner is trying to give some direction into a microphone, but it’s not coming close to matching the decibel level of the masses.…aaaaannnd you’ve pretty much got the picture.  (Regrettably, I did not take any photos of the evening.)  One of the major factors causing the chaos was that there was not a raised stage… it was all on the same level as the audience, which allowed the kids to run onto the ‘playing field’ as they wished.  And when one kid does it… well, you know.  One other tiny little factor contributing to the mayhem was that the MC for the evening, who was flying in from Hong Kong, was delayed by flight and then by traffic.  She showed up about half way through the program and proceeded to put on a slinky angel costume (complete with wings) the likes and purpose of which still has me baffled.  Something to keep the adult males in the room entertained, I guess?  Regardless, it added to the wackiness of the evening.

It became clear to me very quickly that this situation was nearing the ridiculous category.  My nervousness faded as I realized this and decided to simply turn it into an improv-performance for myself.  I’ve been doing theatre and music in some capacity for the majority of my life… and that’s really all this was, right?  ‘YES AND’ing the hell out of this situation.  Obviously we needed things to shift in order to continue with any semblance of order. When it was my turn to play a game with some of them (which turned out to be flash cards and charades on the topic of ‘jobs’) I contemplated just continuing on amidst the cacophony, without drawing any attention or upsetting the spiraling pandemonium.  That would have been the very safe thing to do.  But since I was already doing laps…I thought I might as well do some back-flips off the high-board!  I yelled (very, very loudly) M E R R Y   C H R I S T M A S!!!!!!  And indicated that the kids should echo it.  They did, quietly at first, (I’m sure a few of them were a bit startled by an American they’ve never seen before, shouting Merry Christmas at them) but I continued relentlessly roaring MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! And then held my hand up to my ear until they were getting into it and were responding louder than the rest of the hubbub in the room… within about a minute the room was hushed and most of the focus was on the stage. 

Happy as I was to have gotten the attention of the entire room (because I honestly didn’t know if it was possible) I simultaneously had an ‘oh shit’ moment because now they were all staring at me and quietly paying attention...which was what I was going for, yes, but it sure looked a lot different than I expected... many of their faces said, “What is that crazy American doing?”  HA! I quickly moved into the game, kept the energy level at ‘super-dynamic’ and the volume at 'very loud', tossed gifts to the participants, made them laugh by acting like a complete goof… and in the end, not only was it a successful 10 minutes, but now they definitely knew who I was. :)

The reward for the night was a nice meal on the company where I was introduced to my new favorite food: LOTUS ROOT!!!!!  It’s awesomely, texturally, crunchily, healthily, deeeelicious!

It was definitely one of the more peculiar Christmas stories in my life, especially going back to the apartment after dinner and realizing that it really was Christmas.  Quite strange, because even though I was shouting Merry Christmas at the top of my lungs a couple hours before, there was nothing recognizably Christmassy or nostalgic about this scene for me…  My family and friends were far away and I was in completely new surroundings... it was all new.  The past decade or so, even my jadedness about the corporate/consumer/commercialism of the holiday season BECAME its own sensation of Christmas…but, here, looking at the cardboard Santa Claus’ hanging in the windows of the dumpling restaurant was just laughably bizarro!

The First Few Days

 The first few days were a bit of a whirlwind as one could imagine.  The same night that I arrived, I was taken to my apartment to quickly drop off my suitcase (I’ll get into the apartment situation later) then to the school for a brief introduction to the owner and some of the people there and then to the WuMart… which is the equivalent of a Target or Wallmart.

As you can see, WuMart is not just a supermarket,  it is a "Hypermarket".  I needed to buy some essentials like bedding, towels, TP, and a few food staples and WuMart has it all.  Coco and her husband were there to help me with the transactions because when you show interest in something like sheets or comforters at the WuMart you are immediately surrounded by anywhere from two to five employees that want to ‘help’ you.  I imagine they are pointing out the differences between the products and highlighting some features and perhaps if I spoke the language it would be helpful.  But since I don’t, it’s just a lot jibberish that distracts me from looking at the options.  Since I had help with me at this point, it went pretty smoothly. 

After the WuMart we were off to meet the other teachers for dinner at a Hot Pot restaurant, which can most easily be described as Chinese fondue… a simmering metal pot of stock sits at the center of the dining table and you all order a variety of vegetables, meats, tofu, and noodles.  Sometimes there is one big pot and at others the pot is split into a spicy side and a regular side.

I haven’t done a lot of fondue eating so am not sure if one uses the same utensils that they eat with to dunk their food into the community pot, but the practice of using your chopsticks to pick up some food then drop it in the hot pot along with everyone else and fish it out after a couple of minutes, put it in your mouth and then use those same chopsticks to do it all over again... grossed me out a bit.  I wondered if I would feel the same if it were a bunch of friends or even just people I knew.  I think it would be better, but it's still not very appealing to me.  It seems to be pretty popular though, so perhaps I'll warm up to it.  I've also heard that there are individual hot pot restaurants where you get your very own!  That I would dig.

At the recommendation of one of the other teachers and in the spirit of keeping an open mind and wanting to try some ‘new things’ I tried blood tofu that night.  I've learned many things already and I'm sure I'll learn many more.  The big thing I learned that night was that I’m not into eating animal blood… even when it’s soaked into tofu.  Nope, definitely not.  Bleh.

 I was very tired by this point and ready to hit the bed.  Tired as I was though, I woke up about every hour during the (now) night.  Beijing is fourteen hours ahead of Minneapolis, so pretty much the opposite side of the day.   

I met the school manager (we'll call him Mike) the next morning so he could show me around my neighborhood a bit.  

We went to the local grocery store and he pointed out some things that might be common but not easily recognizable due to very different packaging (and obviously the foreign characters).  I'll get some photos up another time of these things.  We walked down the row of shops and restaurants and at this time of day there are several restaurants that do some of their cooking outside... to lure you in.  Some with dumplings, some with fresh roasted chestnuts.  It worked.  We stopped in one to have breakfast at a place that Mike commented, "had never made him sick."  The meal consisted of steamed buns filled with some kind of savory meat (baozi)... an egg (jidan) that was hard boiled in tea, and tofu soup (not pictured).

Quite a hearty breakfast for about 6rmb (less than one US dollar).  I still had a significant amount of anxiety filling my stomach at this point so I didn't eat half of that, but now knew of one place that was close where I could go for an inexpensive meal.
After breakfast, we got in a taxi to meet a Chinese friend of Mike's to assist me in buying a cell phone.  Taxis here are of two kinds... legit and 'black'. The legit taxis LOOK like taxis and run a meter.  The black taxis have no meters, they just give people rides for money.  And if their howling and calling out to you isn't enough of an indication...they also have little red lights in their windshield to let you know.  The black taxis are generally less expensive but if you're a foreigner they will definitely try to charge you more.  The price for the trip is agreed upon before you even get in the taxi.  You tell them where you want to go and they tell you what they want for the ride... you either agree and get in, try to haggle with them, or leave.  So, we met Mike's friend and he helped me get a phone number and SIMS card (I was told I could use an old phone of his but wouldn't be able to get it until tomorrow) and then we walked around one of the shopping malls in Daxing.  The "Fresh City" shopping mall.

It's a mall not TOO unlike something you'd see in the states, except that the folks tending the shops are a little more "forward" with their sales approach.  KFC and McDonalds are quite popular but there are also several Chinese fast-food joints.  (None of which I could go to on my own even if I wanted to because they don't have pictures!)  But we were with Mike's friend Martin and his girlfriend Lily now... so we could go to a dumpling place where they could order for us.  Apparently the eating of dumplings was required that day since it was the coldest day of the year... legend has it that if you DON'T eat dumplings on the coldest day... your ears will fall off.  China is a quite a superstitious country by the way.

After dumplings, we went into a different marketplace area that reminded me of a good old-fashioned Minnesota flea market!  Pretty much anything you could want or need and a lot of things you don't.  BUT there are no price tags so in order to shop in places like these you need to have a pretty good command of the language in order to haggle and not be ripped off.  Unfortunately, I will be shopping at places like WuMart for awhile.  That's just fine actually, even though it's not very exotic, I'm really grateful for WuMart at this point.

I was ready to lie down by now... as the jet lag and lack of sleep was catching up with me.  We walked back to my apartment community at which point I realized I wasn't sure which of the 30 some buildings was mine.  I thought I knew and sent Mike on his way.  I had asked my roommate before leaving which was our building, but I didn't write it down (big mistake) and was sort of half paying attention in the exhaustion and disorientation to the many things that were being thrown my way...I  knew the general direction and the apartment number which is four flights up, but not which building. (and of course they all look the same!)

 I believe I mentioned that it was the coldest day of the year here and I started to panic just a little bit.  I walked in the direction I thought it was and started running in buildings and up to the fourth floor... with no luck.  Though I didn't have my phone yet, I still had my US phone, however, I still wasn't sure if it worked here because when I had tried to call Coco during the whole lost luggage ordeal I couldn't get a hold of her.  It was worth a try... and it worked... whew!  She had the building number, entrance number and apartment number.  It still took me another 10-15 minutes in the cold to find the building, but I found it!  

I ran up the stairs, recognized the door, went to put the key in... and it didn't work.  Keys are a little bit different here and this door had a trick to it that we discovered the night before.  You have to push in on the door while turning the key which I was doing and doing and doing and doing!  The problem was that the key was NOT budging.  There were two keys on the ring... one for the main lock and one for the secondary lock, which was not locked.  I tried both keys... couldn't get either of them to work.  I tried for at least a half hour (felt like two)... I really, really just wanted to lie down and be warm and did I mention that I really had to pee by this point?!  I had a mini-meltdown in the stairwell. "What the hell am I doing here?  What was I thinking??  Why did I leave everything that was comfortable and familiar so that I could be lost and confused and still friggin cold?!" I had fantasies about jumping on the next flight to Minnesota... and then took a deep breath and humbled myself enough to call Coco again.  She and the owner of the school showed up in about 20min to help me.  I showed her what I was doing with the key so I could figure out what I was doing wrong.  She took the OTHER key (the one that I tried before) and put it in, pushed in on the door and voila! "Wrong key." she said.  I didn't even care that I probably looked like a dope.  I just really wanted some sleep... and I got about two hours, cuz then it was time to go to the school to practice Jingle Bells with the kidlets for the big Xmas program!  I was asked/told the night before at the hotpot, that the school had borrowed a keyboard so that I could play Jingle Bells with them for their big program... isn't that lovely?

Mind if I have a few minutes with that keyboard before the practice so I can "refresh" myself?  Suuuuper, thanks.  

I'm Finally Blogging!

Ok, so I admit that I’ve never used the word “peregrinator” before… but I adore alliteration.  (see??) Even the corny stuff... but I had no idea how stressful choosing a blog title could be… good grief!

Anywhoo…I am indeed currently practicing peregrination.  I’ve been living in China for a month now and before I forget anymore of the daily details, I need to start writing about it.

Let’s go back to… oh, I don’t know… how about choosing a flight. Of course I was searching for the least expensive, but also one with only one stop.  When considering the LONG leg of the flight to Beijing could range from 13-16 hours, the thought of stopping at more than one airport was not appealing.  There is an important factor that plays into this decision for me.  I don’t travel a LOT lot so that I despise airports.  I actually enjoy them.  I take pleasure in observing the sociological theatre that plays out before me.  There's the day trader who talks WAY TOO LOUD on his phone to either let people know how important he is or to falsely tip people off.  Then the upper middle class families that take so many vacations that each of the five family members has their own routine, personalized carry-on bag with rollers, and self-entertainment-travel-paraphernalia to prove it: Mom and Dad are each reading a book on their Kindle with one hand while their deflated neck-pillow, passport AND boarding pass is ready in the other (they don’t kid around with preparation OR comfort).  Johnny, the eldest son, who now goes by John, has his laptop out of parental view “playing games” i.e. looking at the Beijinger.com classifieds, Susie is disgusted with everything everyone does and rolls her eyes at least five times every minute to make that crystal clear.  At least she has the latest iPod Touch to keep her company.  And then there’s little Tommy who hasn’t quite reached the age of being electronically subdued and though she does a great job of hiding it, that really pisses Mom off.  I mean jeez! Isn’t he old enough to sit quietly at the gate like everybody else and play with his hand-held-super-mega-distracting-3D video game?  No Mommy, he isn’t.  He wants to ENGAGE and connect with you!!  OoooOOOOH!!!! So fascinating…!  Then there’s the staff at the various eateries, newsstands, restrooms, and kiosks and I find myself wrapped up in their stories…with questions about them… how they got these jobs and what they went through to get them, and what they have to go through on a daily basis (security-wise) just to get to their job, etc.  So, it isn’t the airport thing that plays into the flight decision as I’m sure I could be quite content there for a three day layover.  It has much more to do with the fact that I still suffer from motion sickness.  It’s something I’ve been plagued with since a child.  Mostly cars, but if there is anything more than mild turbulence in an airplane, my inner ear signals my inner stomach and gives it and the rest of my body the idea that it’s terribly, terribly upset and should respond accordingly.  It really does suck… because I actually ENJOY turbulence!  I think it’s fun!  I’m not afraid of dying in a plane crash… I mean, sometimes you’re alive, sometimes you’re not, right?  I would LOVE to be able to really ENJOY the unpredictable air currents without feeling like I’m going to ralph.  Take-offs and landings are the trouble spots for the easily-queasy and so the fewer times one has to endure it, the better.  Yes, Dramamine is great.  It really does the trick for me… but also makes me so very, very sleepy, which in some cases is just what I want and in others, not so much as the effects seem to last quite awhile.   I considered a non-stop flight, but the prices were crazy.  Sooooo, I chose Air Canada because they seemed nice. :)  AND because I would only have to stop once in Toronto.  That meant only two ups and two downs.

Air Canada is operated by …a different airline (I’ve blocked it out of memory) in Minneapolis and so even though I double and triple-quadruple checked the bag-weight limitations, there was terrible confusion upon arriving at the airport with my 70+lb bags since the 'gentleman' 'helping me' was not an Air Canada person he didn't really know the rules. I won’t go into all of the frustrating details of what happened but will just say that there was a PUBLIC UNPACKING OF MY THINGS at the airport to reduce the weight.  That packing job took many, many hours and some expert help and there I was ripping it all apart to make an allowable 70lb weight.  I still ended up paying an extra $200 to be in the ‘overweight-but-still-allowable’ category.  That was a first for me.  I mean for cripes sakes! I’m packing to live in another country for fifteen f’n months! 140lbs of stuff is not that much! I didn’t get to bring my yoga mat, some of my clothes and shoes and honestly, I forget what else.  So therein lies the lesson, right? 

Other than an annoying introduction to the smacking and slurping sounds of a young Chinese eater sitting next to me, all was smooth on the flight.  They fed me lots of carbs and I had my very own personal entertainment center.  There was a nice mix of being occupied with food, Modern Family episodes, short naps, silently judging others for their lack of shared-space etiquette, and bad movies that made me take more naps.  

It wasn’t exactly a relaxing flight though.  I had a lot on my mind.  The anxiety of all that was ahead of me balanced out the sleepy side-effects of the Dramamine so that except for the little naps, I didn’t sleep much.  Walking through customs was no problem… other than some directional signage that was unclear I made it to the baggage claim unscathed. My bags however, not so lucky.  ONE of my TWO bags made it to Beijing. Another first for me.  And no better time to have to deal with lost luggage than in a country where I don’t speak the language.  HA!  I'd better get used to it, right?  My mind raced to remember what I had packed in which bag, was there anything crucial in the one missing?... and I couldn't really remember after the unpacking/repacking fiasco at departure.  I filled out the forms with the help of an Air China associate and was told they would call when they find it.

So, then I'm on my way to meet Coco, the representative from the school.  She had sent me a photo of herself a few days prior but I was also told by the manager of the school that she would have a sign with my name on it.  No sign, no name.  Was this evidence of things to come?  Yes.  Luckily... I did recognize her in the throng at the arrival gate.  She didn't notice me, the only white person among hundreds, walking by her.  To be fair though, she was preoccupied with talking on her cell phone at the time and had been waiting for about two hours by now.  I walked up behind her... losing a little bit of confidence that it was her... and tentatively said "Coco." It was her.  Relief.  She welcomed me, gave me a hug and just like that I was in China, riding in the backseat of Coco’s husband’s car in nutty traffic!