The Christmas Program!

 The school that I signed on with is a very young company, about a year and a half old.  During the international job hunt this was definitely a point of concern.  Stability and longevity are a couple of comforting qualities when considering ANY position, but especially when there is a plan to uproot and replant ones life. I justified this risk by balancing it out with the attractive side of that same fact: joining a company in its infancy, that has plans for franchising, would allow for greater promotional opportunity within the organization as it expands out into other parts of the city and potentially other countries.  I was assured that there were plenty of investors and the money would be there so “don’t worry about not getting a paycheck.”  I took the risk.  But, as with most green companies (and I don’t mean environmentally sound) there are several systematic and operational issues to sort out.  Policies, procedures, processes and many other ‘p’ words all need some time, and practical experience to mature.  This company is no exception and it was abundantly clear just how unstructured it is as I participated in my first function with them: The Christmas Program!

I had been in China exactly 48 hours at this point.  After taking a few minutes to brush up my ‘Jingle Bells’ and ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ on a little keyboard that one might find in the toy aisle at Target, and a 15-minute rehearsal with the kidlets, I was part of the line-up!  This was only one part of my involvement though.  The management at the school thought it would be a great idea to introduce me (the shiny new teacher from America) to the parents and the rest of the kids (approx 250 in all) by doing a teaching game with some of the kids as a part of the Christmas program! Yes! Great idea! :-/ Now, let me just say that I have yet, in this journal, to get into WHY I’m here, what brought me to the point of living and teaching abroad, and I will do that eventually, but right now I will just share briefly that my teaching experience is limited… especially with the kidlets.  My TEFL training and the volunteer teaching I’ve done has been mostly with adults and University students… so other than a few summers helping kids write songs for theatre camp, this is pretty unfamiliar and therefore not altogether comfortable territory for me.  I DID know this going in… but it was also written in my contract that I would have a 3-month training/observation/probation/warming-up-to-the-whole-thing period to “get comfortable.” Sooooo… you know… 3 months… 48 hours…same diff, right?  Additionally, it was understood that when I DID start teaching on my own, the maximum class size, due to it being a private school, would be 8 students … not 100... plus parents.  Ugh.  I could have said no.  But, hey! I’ve already jumped completely into a foreign and slightly uncomfortable pool, why not do some laps?… in front of the entire school?… naked! Ok, not naked, but it kiiiiiiiinda felt like it.

It is a big undertaking to produce a xmas program for even the more experienced lot. To keep oodles of kids entertained while still maintaining some order and fluidity is not a light task, so I give them all credit for the ambitious goal.  But this… was… A L L   O U T   C H A O S!  Imagine, 100+ little sugared-up Chinese kids wearing Santa hats, excited-to-the-point-of-screaming, tearing around the room, while some of them are attempting to perform their Twelve Days of Christmas sketch and the parents are carrying on an audible conversation with the other adults at their table rather than keeping their kids under control and/or paying attention to what is happening on stage (unless their child is performing, of course) as the owner is trying to give some direction into a microphone, but it’s not coming close to matching the decibel level of the masses.…aaaaannnd you’ve pretty much got the picture.  (Regrettably, I did not take any photos of the evening.)  One of the major factors causing the chaos was that there was not a raised stage… it was all on the same level as the audience, which allowed the kids to run onto the ‘playing field’ as they wished.  And when one kid does it… well, you know.  One other tiny little factor contributing to the mayhem was that the MC for the evening, who was flying in from Hong Kong, was delayed by flight and then by traffic.  She showed up about half way through the program and proceeded to put on a slinky angel costume (complete with wings) the likes and purpose of which still has me baffled.  Something to keep the adult males in the room entertained, I guess?  Regardless, it added to the wackiness of the evening.

It became clear to me very quickly that this situation was nearing the ridiculous category.  My nervousness faded as I realized this and decided to simply turn it into an improv-performance for myself.  I’ve been doing theatre and music in some capacity for the majority of my life… and that’s really all this was, right?  ‘YES AND’ing the hell out of this situation.  Obviously we needed things to shift in order to continue with any semblance of order. When it was my turn to play a game with some of them (which turned out to be flash cards and charades on the topic of ‘jobs’) I contemplated just continuing on amidst the cacophony, without drawing any attention or upsetting the spiraling pandemonium.  That would have been the very safe thing to do.  But since I was already doing laps…I thought I might as well do some back-flips off the high-board!  I yelled (very, very loudly) M E R R Y   C H R I S T M A S!!!!!!  And indicated that the kids should echo it.  They did, quietly at first, (I’m sure a few of them were a bit startled by an American they’ve never seen before, shouting Merry Christmas at them) but I continued relentlessly roaring MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! And then held my hand up to my ear until they were getting into it and were responding louder than the rest of the hubbub in the room… within about a minute the room was hushed and most of the focus was on the stage. 

Happy as I was to have gotten the attention of the entire room (because I honestly didn’t know if it was possible) I simultaneously had an ‘oh shit’ moment because now they were all staring at me and quietly paying attention...which was what I was going for, yes, but it sure looked a lot different than I expected... many of their faces said, “What is that crazy American doing?”  HA! I quickly moved into the game, kept the energy level at ‘super-dynamic’ and the volume at 'very loud', tossed gifts to the participants, made them laugh by acting like a complete goof… and in the end, not only was it a successful 10 minutes, but now they definitely knew who I was. :)

The reward for the night was a nice meal on the company where I was introduced to my new favorite food: LOTUS ROOT!!!!!  It’s awesomely, texturally, crunchily, healthily, deeeelicious!

It was definitely one of the more peculiar Christmas stories in my life, especially going back to the apartment after dinner and realizing that it really was Christmas.  Quite strange, because even though I was shouting Merry Christmas at the top of my lungs a couple hours before, there was nothing recognizably Christmassy or nostalgic about this scene for me…  My family and friends were far away and I was in completely new surroundings... it was all new.  The past decade or so, even my jadedness about the corporate/consumer/commercialism of the holiday season BECAME its own sensation of Christmas…but, here, looking at the cardboard Santa Claus’ hanging in the windows of the dumpling restaurant was just laughably bizarro!